After by Francis Chalifour (Post #2)

In my previous blog, I discussed the effects of depression, the stigma about it, and the impacts of suicide on loved ones. Today, I want to talk about a social issue that goes hand in hand with this- grief. People mourn the death of their loved ones in different ways; some scream and cry, losing complete control of themselves and surrendering to the pain, while others suffer in silence. 

To begin, I'd like to share this article about a doctor mourning the death of a young patient whom he was unable to save.

Paramedic Mourning Death of Young Patient

The EMT in this article reminds me of Francis because they share a similar story. Both were unable to save someone they cared about. Both cried in pain at the loss of someone who didn't deserve to be lost. Both felt responsible for the deaths even though nothing much could be done. Just as how doctors learn to accept that some patients have an inevitable death, Christopher accepts it as well, after talking to the school psychologist, Mr. Bergeron.

“Do you feel guilty?”  His [Mr. Bergeron] voice was gentle.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“If I hadn’t gone to New York, he couldn’t have killed himself.”

“Don’t you think he would have done it another day?” (Chalifour 67)

The last line in the dialogue made Christopher realize that the suicide is not entirely his fault. Mr. Bergeron continues on to explain that it is normal to feel guilty, it is normal to feel pain, and it is normal to cry. It is normal for Christopher to feel everything he has felt so far. When he leaves the office, Christopher thinks to himself, “So, I wasn’t a grief freak. I was normal” (68). Although he still feels upset, he also feels better because he is able to share his thoughts and feelings with someone else without the fear of being called “Son of Suicide Man”.

The picture below is my depiction of grief. Many are unable to grieve in front of others. Instead, they keep to themselves. Cries of help cannot be spoken because it is a sign of weakness. Many are not allowed to feel weak because they are forced to be strong. They are forced to be strong, not for themselves, but for others. 

The song I have chosen is “Slipped Away” by Avril Lavigne. This song is about missing a loved one that has died and being unable to accept the reality that they will never return. I think that the lyrics fit very well with how Francis feels. 

For example, "I didn't get around to kiss you/Goodbye on the hand/I wish that I could see you again/I know that I can't," represents how Francis wishes he had stayed home instead of going on the trip. It also portrays the need that Francis has to interact with his father, such as, when he attempted to shave for the first time, but was never taught how to. The urge to talk to his father comes out when he is doing something that is typically a father-son activity, like shaving, or when he learns that his best friend, Houston, is being taught how to drive by his father (61). 

The lyrics, "I had my wake up/Won't you wake up/I keep asking why/I can't take it/It wasn't fake/It happened, you passed by" mirror Francis' reactions to the death. When he comes to the realization that his father is dead, he begins to question why it had to be his father who died and why was he unable to save his father.