After by Francis Chalifour (Post #2)

In my previous blog, I discussed the effects of depression, the stigma about it, and the impacts of suicide on loved ones. Today, I want to talk about a social issue that goes hand in hand with this- grief. People mourn the death of their loved ones in different ways; some scream and cry, losing complete control of themselves and surrendering to the pain, while others suffer in silence. 

To begin, I'd like to share this article about a doctor mourning the death of a young patient whom he was unable to save.

Paramedic Mourning Death of Young Patient

The EMT in this article reminds me of Francis because they share a similar story. Both were unable to save someone they cared about. Both cried in pain at the loss of someone who didn't deserve to be lost. Both felt responsible for the deaths even though nothing much could be done. Just as how doctors learn to accept that some patients have an inevitable death, Christopher accepts it as well, after talking to the school psychologist, Mr. Bergeron.

“Do you feel guilty?”  His [Mr. Bergeron] voice was gentle.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“If I hadn’t gone to New York, he couldn’t have killed himself.”

“Don’t you think he would have done it another day?” (Chalifour 67)

The last line in the dialogue made Christopher realize that the suicide is not entirely his fault. Mr. Bergeron continues on to explain that it is normal to feel guilty, it is normal to feel pain, and it is normal to cry. It is normal for Christopher to feel everything he has felt so far. When he leaves the office, Christopher thinks to himself, “So, I wasn’t a grief freak. I was normal” (68). Although he still feels upset, he also feels better because he is able to share his thoughts and feelings with someone else without the fear of being called “Son of Suicide Man”.

The picture below is my depiction of grief. Many are unable to grieve in front of others. Instead, they keep to themselves. Cries of help cannot be spoken because it is a sign of weakness. Many are not allowed to feel weak because they are forced to be strong. They are forced to be strong, not for themselves, but for others. 

The song I have chosen is “Slipped Away” by Avril Lavigne. This song is about missing a loved one that has died and being unable to accept the reality that they will never return. I think that the lyrics fit very well with how Francis feels. 

For example, "I didn't get around to kiss you/Goodbye on the hand/I wish that I could see you again/I know that I can't," represents how Francis wishes he had stayed home instead of going on the trip. It also portrays the need that Francis has to interact with his father, such as, when he attempted to shave for the first time, but was never taught how to. The urge to talk to his father comes out when he is doing something that is typically a father-son activity, like shaving, or when he learns that his best friend, Houston, is being taught how to drive by his father (61). 

The lyrics, "I had my wake up/Won't you wake up/I keep asking why/I can't take it/It wasn't fake/It happened, you passed by" mirror Francis' reactions to the death. When he comes to the realization that his father is dead, he begins to question why it had to be his father who died and why was he unable to save his father. 

After by Francis Chalifour (Post #1)

The social issue developed in the novel so far revolves around depression and suicide.

Through Francis' eyes, we learn that society does not accept suicidal death, but rather things like poverty. "...being poor was not as big a deal as being Son of Suicide Man" (Chalifour 30). We also learn that Francis is ashamed. "I was ashamed to say my father was dead. I was ashamed to say he committed suicide" (36).



Along with this shameful feeling, Francis faces other feelings, such as, guilt and confusion. He knows that his father was depressed and suicidal, and as a result, followed him around to make sure he didn't hurt or kill himself. Francis feels guilty for going on the trip, thinking that Papa was better. This shows there is somewhat of a stigma revolving around depression. This article about Robin William's suicide explains it further.

Robin William's Suicide

Its not just feeling sad: This section of the articles explains the feelings of hopelessness, loss of appetite, irregular sleep, worthlessness, and isolation. Dr. Oren Amity says, "Just because it goes away, doesn't mean its gone forever."
This quote is very true in Francis' situation. He went on the trip because he thought Papa was fine, but he didn't realize that the same feelings were there, simply being covered by a mask (12).

You can't just snap out of it: In this section of the article, Dr. Amity explains that depression is often triggered by a major life event and time alone will not cure it.
This relates back to Papa because the reason behind him having depression was a back injury that left him unable to work in the shipyard, which he loved. "...depressed since he lost his job a couple of years ago...loved the sea and the broad St. Lawrence...never the same after he lost that job..." (10). Clearly, Papa had been depressed for several years, but there was no improvement in his condition.

Its not always obvious to family and friends: Dr. Amity explains that some individuals are good at compartmentalizing, which makes it hard for those around the individual to truly see that he or she is suffering. Most often, this is the case with celebrities, including Robin Williams.
Once again, this is the same situation that Francis encounters. His father had managed to mask his emotions, leaving an impression on Francis that he was capable of being alone without hurting himself. However, this turned out to be false because as soon as Francis left for New York, Papa committed suicide (12).

It doesn't discriminate: Depression can affect anyone at any age. It shouldn't be a reason for alienation because many will suffer from some form of mental illness.
However, in After, society does discriminate. The suicidal result of Papa's depression is seen as abnormal. Francis clearly expresses his fear of being labeled as "Son of Suicide Man" by keeping his father's death a secret from those who previously did not know because he doesn't want to be isolated.



The photograph that I have taken below is my depiction of suicide. Words are forever lost because of deaf ears and taped mouths. An apology is written to take blame for harm done to others when the only harm done was of those who did not listen.

Another thing that should not be overlooked are the feelings and thoughts experienced by those who face this loss. I wrote a poem, Carry On, to depict how Francis feels and what he must face after Papa's death.

Carry On

Carry on, carry on, carry on

Glass walls cannot hide my sorrow

Makes me untouchable; no hand to shoulder,

But see my agony, I cannot break free.

Carry on, carry on, carry on

“Be strong, take care of them,” they say,

But how will I, when my soul is adrift?

Glass walls please turn into bricks.

Carry on, carry on, carry on

Tell me that I should have known

So I can finally believe this guilt is real

And break my fractured bones.

Carry on, carry on, carry on

The noose constrains all my thoughts

I lost what I loved and died deep down inside

“Carry on,” they say, but I cannot. 

Battle for Independence Leaves Three Dead

Author: Parin Mistry

Published: June 17, 1924, The Dublin Daily

            As Ireland continues to be plagued by violence in the battle for independence, three members of the Free Staters were found dead last night near O’Connell Bridge in the capital, Dublin, sent to their grave by a Republican sniper.

            Discovered this morning, near the bridge, a turret lay idling in the middle of the road, a middle-aged man collapsed against it suffering from a fatal head shot. In the gutter lay the other Free Stater, a young woman. Further down O’Connell Street lay the third dead Free Stater, a young man.

            A sniper and cap belonging to the Republicans was found at the scene of the crime, suggesting that they were responsible for the three deaths.

            A machine gun shooter from the Free Staters, who was positioned near O’Connell Street, reported to his commanding officer, “I saw a young lad wearing a Republican badge dart into O’Connell Street before disappearing from my line of sight. I was unable to kill him. I never saw him again after that.”

            Another witness, Fellena MacCabe, who was hiding in one of the buildings nearby exclaimed, “I heard two gunshots go off, and then another one shortly after. All I saw was a sniper and cap on the ground, and dead bodies when I peeked out the window.”

            As the country continues to fight for Independence, citizens hope that cities, like Dublin, do not continue to be painted red by the strokes of steel. 

O'Connell Bridge - the sight of the three deaths.

"The Sniper" Summary and Theme

     A conflict between the Republicans and Free Staters results in death. The Sniper, on the side of the Republicans, lay behind a parapet one night in Dublin. Being fired at for lighting a cigarette gives the Sniper his enemy's location; on the roof of the opposite building. Then, he shoots and kills two people in the street, who are aware of his hideout. However, a wound on his arm from a bullet disables him from using his rifle to kill his enemy, so he can escape. The Sniper uses his cap and rifle to feign his death, in order to lure his enemy out of cover. Once unprotected, the Sniper shoots and kills the enemy with a revolver, immediately feeling remorse and spitefulness towards the war and himself, losing all want to battle. This feeling quickly passes as he almost shoots himself accidentally and decides to leave the roof. Curious as to who the enemy was, the Sniper goes over to the lifeless body, only to discover the enemy was his brother.


     I think the message that the author is trying to send is that there are no restrains in war. There isn't an age requirement to participate, as the Sniper was a student, a young man: "His face was the face of a student" (O'Flaherty 86). Also, there are no limitations to who is killed. Gender and family ties disappear once in battle: "The woman darted toward the side street. The Sniper fired again" (87). Although women are generally left out of battle, the author shows that its not true entirely. "Then the Sniper turned over the dead boy and looked into his brother's face" (89). Although unaware that the enemy was his brother, there was never any thought given toward the possibility that the person he was trying to kill could be family. Throughout the story, there is a message of "kill or be killed" and is expressed very well by the Sniper, as he doesn't hesitate to do so. Being able to kill another person without any thought of family and gender, as well as, being young yourself, shows that there really are no boundaries in war.

Ishmael Beah: A Former Child Soldier

Connections:
One similarity I found in particular would be that the story and the article both discuss the easy influence of violence on children.
In the video, Ishmael talks about how seeing the violence right in front of you desensitizes you and makes you believe that it is okay. You begin to lose yourself and accept the commanders of the army as your family.
The same goes with violence in media that is shown to kids at a young age. Their minds are easily influenced, so, they begin accepting this violence as normal if they are exposed to it when young.

One difference I found was that the article states that media should not show anything related to violence and children. It is said that by seeing or hearing about teenagers in particular who are associated with any sort of violence can lead to the copycat behaviour in other children. However, Ishmael Beah uses media to tell his story of being a child soldier, in order to promote awareness. He wants to educate people about this issue and describes his story, which includes talk about gun violence and murder. The two ideas contradict each other.

Challenges:
One of the ideas presented here is that using child soldiers is bad, but I want to challenge that. Perhaps the use of child soldiers in war can have a positive outcome overall.
Another idea I want to challenge is that once you're pulled into the war and become a soldier, you lose yourself amidst the violence and start believing it is home. I think that you don't necessarily lose yourself, but rather you learn how to suppress the emotions telling you that what you're doing is wrong because your main goal is to survive.

Concepts:
A concept worth holding onto would be the affect of violence on young children and how it can change the way they think for the rest of their life. Another concept would be the use of child soldiers in war. And finally, the ideas and thoughts that run through a child soldier once they are rescued and put into rehabilitation centres because they have been conditioned to think the opposite of what rehab is trying to achieve.

Changes:
Ishmael talked about how he was isolated when he went back to school because he was seen as a killer, despite spending 8 months in rehab to recover. This suggests that we should change the way we react to people, especially the young, because certain situations condition them to become someone else, but we don't give them the chance to show that they are not that person anymore. In Ishmael's situation, it seems that he wasn't given the opportunity to redeem himself.

Another thing that got me to change my thinking is in regards to hostility towards child soldiers. I realize that people are put in certain situations without any choice, but that doesn't give me the right to label them and treat them a certain way because of it. In Ishmael's case, he was forced to become a child soldier, yet, in rehab, all the workers treated him like he was a child instead of a killer. They didn't let that label of "murderer" influence the way they treated him, which I think is something everyone should do and also be given. 

Chapel Hill Shooting

Chapel Hill Shooting Article

     Recently, there was a shooting. Craig Stephen Hicks, 46, was arrested for shooting 3 Muslim students on Tuesday evening. The shooting occurred at Chapel Hill, a condominium complex near the University of North Carolina campus. Police state that the shooting occurred over a parking dispute, but family members of the victims say it was a hate-crime. Through social media, news quickly spread worldwide to the Muslim community and a Facebook page was created in honour of the three victims, sparking lots of outrage, as well as, grief. Chapel Hill police are still investigating this crime.
     This really stands out to me in the fact that it can be considered a hate-crime. I've been bullied based on my ethnicity, so I connect with the racial discrimination aspect of the article. This connection extends my understanding of the concept of war and conflict because it is something I've read about and experienced, as well. I understand that conflicts don't necessarily have to occur at large scales, such as, the conflict between Syria and Jordan and that there are many different reasons why conflicts can occur, some of which may be unclear.