After by Francis Chalifour (Post #2)

In my previous blog, I discussed the effects of depression, the stigma about it, and the impacts of suicide on loved ones. Today, I want to talk about a social issue that goes hand in hand with this- grief. People mourn the death of their loved ones in different ways; some scream and cry, losing complete control of themselves and surrendering to the pain, while others suffer in silence. 

To begin, I'd like to share this article about a doctor mourning the death of a young patient whom he was unable to save.

Paramedic Mourning Death of Young Patient

The EMT in this article reminds me of Francis because they share a similar story. Both were unable to save someone they cared about. Both cried in pain at the loss of someone who didn't deserve to be lost. Both felt responsible for the deaths even though nothing much could be done. Just as how doctors learn to accept that some patients have an inevitable death, Christopher accepts it as well, after talking to the school psychologist, Mr. Bergeron.

“Do you feel guilty?”  His [Mr. Bergeron] voice was gentle.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“If I hadn’t gone to New York, he couldn’t have killed himself.”

“Don’t you think he would have done it another day?” (Chalifour 67)

The last line in the dialogue made Christopher realize that the suicide is not entirely his fault. Mr. Bergeron continues on to explain that it is normal to feel guilty, it is normal to feel pain, and it is normal to cry. It is normal for Christopher to feel everything he has felt so far. When he leaves the office, Christopher thinks to himself, “So, I wasn’t a grief freak. I was normal” (68). Although he still feels upset, he also feels better because he is able to share his thoughts and feelings with someone else without the fear of being called “Son of Suicide Man”.

The picture below is my depiction of grief. Many are unable to grieve in front of others. Instead, they keep to themselves. Cries of help cannot be spoken because it is a sign of weakness. Many are not allowed to feel weak because they are forced to be strong. They are forced to be strong, not for themselves, but for others. 

The song I have chosen is “Slipped Away” by Avril Lavigne. This song is about missing a loved one that has died and being unable to accept the reality that they will never return. I think that the lyrics fit very well with how Francis feels. 

For example, "I didn't get around to kiss you/Goodbye on the hand/I wish that I could see you again/I know that I can't," represents how Francis wishes he had stayed home instead of going on the trip. It also portrays the need that Francis has to interact with his father, such as, when he attempted to shave for the first time, but was never taught how to. The urge to talk to his father comes out when he is doing something that is typically a father-son activity, like shaving, or when he learns that his best friend, Houston, is being taught how to drive by his father (61). 

The lyrics, "I had my wake up/Won't you wake up/I keep asking why/I can't take it/It wasn't fake/It happened, you passed by" mirror Francis' reactions to the death. When he comes to the realization that his father is dead, he begins to question why it had to be his father who died and why was he unable to save his father. 

After by Francis Chalifour (Post #1)

The social issue developed in the novel so far revolves around depression and suicide.

Through Francis' eyes, we learn that society does not accept suicidal death, but rather things like poverty. "...being poor was not as big a deal as being Son of Suicide Man" (Chalifour 30). We also learn that Francis is ashamed. "I was ashamed to say my father was dead. I was ashamed to say he committed suicide" (36).



Along with this shameful feeling, Francis faces other feelings, such as, guilt and confusion. He knows that his father was depressed and suicidal, and as a result, followed him around to make sure he didn't hurt or kill himself. Francis feels guilty for going on the trip, thinking that Papa was better. This shows there is somewhat of a stigma revolving around depression. This article about Robin William's suicide explains it further.

Robin William's Suicide

Its not just feeling sad: This section of the articles explains the feelings of hopelessness, loss of appetite, irregular sleep, worthlessness, and isolation. Dr. Oren Amity says, "Just because it goes away, doesn't mean its gone forever."
This quote is very true in Francis' situation. He went on the trip because he thought Papa was fine, but he didn't realize that the same feelings were there, simply being covered by a mask (12).

You can't just snap out of it: In this section of the article, Dr. Amity explains that depression is often triggered by a major life event and time alone will not cure it.
This relates back to Papa because the reason behind him having depression was a back injury that left him unable to work in the shipyard, which he loved. "...depressed since he lost his job a couple of years ago...loved the sea and the broad St. Lawrence...never the same after he lost that job..." (10). Clearly, Papa had been depressed for several years, but there was no improvement in his condition.

Its not always obvious to family and friends: Dr. Amity explains that some individuals are good at compartmentalizing, which makes it hard for those around the individual to truly see that he or she is suffering. Most often, this is the case with celebrities, including Robin Williams.
Once again, this is the same situation that Francis encounters. His father had managed to mask his emotions, leaving an impression on Francis that he was capable of being alone without hurting himself. However, this turned out to be false because as soon as Francis left for New York, Papa committed suicide (12).

It doesn't discriminate: Depression can affect anyone at any age. It shouldn't be a reason for alienation because many will suffer from some form of mental illness.
However, in After, society does discriminate. The suicidal result of Papa's depression is seen as abnormal. Francis clearly expresses his fear of being labeled as "Son of Suicide Man" by keeping his father's death a secret from those who previously did not know because he doesn't want to be isolated.



The photograph that I have taken below is my depiction of suicide. Words are forever lost because of deaf ears and taped mouths. An apology is written to take blame for harm done to others when the only harm done was of those who did not listen.

Another thing that should not be overlooked are the feelings and thoughts experienced by those who face this loss. I wrote a poem, Carry On, to depict how Francis feels and what he must face after Papa's death.

Carry On

Carry on, carry on, carry on

Glass walls cannot hide my sorrow

Makes me untouchable; no hand to shoulder,

But see my agony, I cannot break free.

Carry on, carry on, carry on

“Be strong, take care of them,” they say,

But how will I, when my soul is adrift?

Glass walls please turn into bricks.

Carry on, carry on, carry on

Tell me that I should have known

So I can finally believe this guilt is real

And break my fractured bones.

Carry on, carry on, carry on

The noose constrains all my thoughts

I lost what I loved and died deep down inside

“Carry on,” they say, but I cannot. 

Battle for Independence Leaves Three Dead

Author: Parin Mistry

Published: June 17, 1924, The Dublin Daily

            As Ireland continues to be plagued by violence in the battle for independence, three members of the Free Staters were found dead last night near O’Connell Bridge in the capital, Dublin, sent to their grave by a Republican sniper.

            Discovered this morning, near the bridge, a turret lay idling in the middle of the road, a middle-aged man collapsed against it suffering from a fatal head shot. In the gutter lay the other Free Stater, a young woman. Further down O’Connell Street lay the third dead Free Stater, a young man.

            A sniper and cap belonging to the Republicans was found at the scene of the crime, suggesting that they were responsible for the three deaths.

            A machine gun shooter from the Free Staters, who was positioned near O’Connell Street, reported to his commanding officer, “I saw a young lad wearing a Republican badge dart into O’Connell Street before disappearing from my line of sight. I was unable to kill him. I never saw him again after that.”

            Another witness, Fellena MacCabe, who was hiding in one of the buildings nearby exclaimed, “I heard two gunshots go off, and then another one shortly after. All I saw was a sniper and cap on the ground, and dead bodies when I peeked out the window.”

            As the country continues to fight for Independence, citizens hope that cities, like Dublin, do not continue to be painted red by the strokes of steel. 

O'Connell Bridge - the sight of the three deaths.